On the Frontlines Archive
A collection of stories of actual events and clients at the Pregnancy
Care Center
(Names
changed to protect confidentiality)
Should I? Or
Shouldn’t I?
January 4, 2008
As we head off into the new year, we pray for God's continued guidance and trust in our stewardship of His life-saving mission on the front-lines of the battle between life and death. We are reminded daily of the grave responsibility we share to protect and defend God's most innocent pre-born children through our work at the Pregnancy Care Center. Today, we pause for prayer in memory of Cliff Beckett, a true hero for the babies! His early guidance of the Mobile Pregnancy Unit and continued devotion to the PCC remains the solid foundation that continues to sustain and support our vital work to this day. We count on his intercession from Heaven as part of our vital network of prayer for all of our clients, benefactors, volunteers and staff.
This
week, we welcomed sixteen clients seeking pregnancy tests and counseling and of
those, seven were abortion-vulnerable. Thankfully, these young women are
finding their way to the
"Deena" was in denial about her pregnancy, ignoring the
symptoms and just hoping it was all a bad dream. For the past three
months, she battled with the idea of abortion and remained
"undecided" nearly every day! In her words, "I woke up almost
every morning thinking, "Should I? Or shouldn't I?" This week,
she came to see us to confirm her pregnancy and talk about her options. I
sat with her in the counseling room, grateful to hear her say, "I thought
about the
"Carla"
called our 24 hour hotline on New Year's Eve, thankful to talk to someone about
her pregnancy. She had taken several home tests with varied results, and
was confused and frightened. Her mother was supportive with her first
unexpected pregnancy, but she dreaded the idea of facing her with news of
another pregnancy. The availability of the hotline allowed us to build
the first bridge with Carla - a connection to the
Thank you for your continued prayers and support of the
mission of the
How did this Happen?
January 11, 2008
"I'm calling for an abortion. I took 4 tests at home, I know
I'm pregnant. How much do you charge?"
This
was the voice on the other end of the phone last Friday when our receptionist
took the call. Every word she would speak in response could mean the
difference between life and death for an innocent pre-born child. With
honesty, kindness and love she responded to the caller and encouraged her to
visit the
She sat down in the counseling room and took a look around. I watched as she began to relax in the comfortable couch and settle down, ready to begin. "I called last week. They told me you don't do abortions here, but I do need one. I need to find a clinic or something, I'm new around here and I don't know where anything is." My turn to get comfortable, I sense this is going to take some time.
Throughout the next two hours, Dana and I discussed her present situation and her life history. I presented the abortion procedures to her, along with the risks and effects she may face- physically, emotionally, and spiritually. She listened, she asked questions and she sighed. We took a break mid-way and watched a dvd called, "Honest Answers." Dana cried when she listened to one of the testimonies of a post-abortive woman. "My heart is breaking for her." she said. Mine too.
Dana
confirmed her pregnancy, and stayed for an ultrasound. Her tiny child
appeared to us briefly on the screen, but at 5.5 weeks, he was too tiny to
reveal his humanity. Nevertheless, Dana was mesmerized with the understanding
that a tiny human being was growing within her. We continued with the
counseling session after her ultrasound and God began to sprinkle us with signs
of hope. "Uh, so, if I decided to keep the baby... what is my next
step? Do you know a good ob/gyn?"
As we closed the session, Dana paused and looked at me. "You know, my mind was made up when I came in here. I wanted an abortion. What happened?" Good question.
Truth.
Love. Hope. That's what happened. That's what always happens at the
Thanks be to God we are there as God's instruments on the front-lines of the battle - for Dana, and for all who follow after her, we are determined to continue this mission of changing hearts and saving lives.
The Place to Go
January 18,2008
"I know just where I am taking you...right to the
So said a faithful friend to a young teenage girl who found herself out on the street when her parents discovered her pregnancy. Frightened, trembling and confused she appeared at the PCC on Wednesday evening looking for help. She sat very close to her friend, with her head down and her hands tucked inside her over-sized sweatshirt waiting her turn.
As God would have it, this young teenage girl was witness to a happy couple who had stopped by to visit us with their newborn son, a single mom who brought in her newborn baby girl, and a young expectant mom who stopped in merely to say "thank you" to us for finding her help for her doctor bills. Those happy visitors impacted the young teen who gradually relaxed, sat up straight and began to read some of our literature.
We spent the next hour and half together: we made plans for her pre-natal care, discussed her options for completing high school and sorted through the fears and dread she was experiencing.
"I
have been so afraid! I went to bed every night afraid and I woke up
afraid - remembering I am pregnant. I knew my parents would be so angry. I KNEW THEY WOULD MAKE ME HAVE AN
ABORTION. I CAN'T KILL MY BABY. I WON'T KILL MY BABY. "
This young girl HID her pregnancy from her parents in order to protect her child in the only way she knew how. Day after day, she lived with the fear of discovery and remained alone with the knowledge that she was a mom with a tiny human being growing inside of her. Alone, scared and on the run every minute of every day hoping no one would look at her and figure it out!
I chose my words carefully. "You have already started being a great mom, you are doing what moms do best - they PROTECT their children. You were afraid, you were alone, and yet you sacrificed in order to keep your baby safe. You were brave and courageous in the middle of the worst time in your life."
When the pieces started to fall into place, and the future started taking shape - we went into the ultrasound room and met the young pre-born baby whose mom so loved him. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked upon this innocent human being who knew nothing of his mother's sacrifice. "I did the only thing I could do, I had to keep him safe."
The
road ahead will not be easy, but thankfully, this young girl has connected with
the
Just a Week
January 25, 2008
Exactly one week ago, at 5:30 pm, the phone rang in my office at the PCC. In the midst of a project, I scrambled to reach it before it went to voice mail. I grabbed it just in time...
"Uh hi, yeah, I found you on the internet. I need some information on the abortion pill. Can you give me that pill tonight?"
I explained who we were, and what we did, and what we could offer...and was clear with the caller that our services did not include abortion.
"But I did a search for "abortion" and I found you! You must do abortions!"
I responded the same, and told her upfront, I would explain procedures, outline risks, and be 100% truthful in answering her questions, but that we do not perform or refer for abortion. She sighed in frustration. I asked her if she was willing to talk for a while and offered my help.
"Well, I guess so, I have nothing else to do but sit here." she responded.
We started with her questions about RU-486 (aka "the abortion pill") and its potential risks and dangers. She was open to a discussion so we continued talking. She shared her story with me, and revealed that she had been at the abortion clinic that very day and had made an appointment for 6:30 am the following day for a surgical abortion right across the street from us - BUT that she was looking for a way out - she did not want to return to the clinic BUT she most definitely wanted an abortion. "I don't want anyone to know. I don't want anyone to see me. So I was hoping to find a place that would give me the pill so I could do this at home, but so far, no one will give it to me since I am already 9 weeks."
For the next hour as we talked, I was watching the time – a countdown to the death of her unborn child. 13 hours til death…12 hours… that appointment just had to be broken! Somehow, some way.
I went out on a limb…I just simply asked her to postpone her appointment at the abortion clinic for at least one week, and come in to see us during the next few days. "During the first trimester, the cost is the same. The procedure is the same. Give yourself a week, and come see us."
It was quiet. I held my breath. I prayed in silence.
“Okay.” she responded quietly. Just like that!!! We agreed she would hang up, call the abortion clinic and verify that I was telling her the truth about costs, procedures and everything else. She hung up and I waited. And I prayed. And within 5 minutes she called back.
“You were telling me the truth
after all! I postponed my appointment, and I will come to the PCC during the
week.. I am so RELIEVED that I
don’t have to do this tomorrow!”
Spared for a week! For the next few days, I prayed for this unborn child who had been spared a death sentence. Imagine - a random search on the internet had given this tiny human being ONE MORE WEEK to fight for his life. But now, he had a team of counselors, nurses and prayer warriors to fight with him! We would be his voice!
Here I sit, one week later, in gratitude for the encounter that I had with our caller. In gratitude for the search on the internet that led to a phone call – that led to a counseling session late this afternoon– that led to an ultrasound where this tiny fighter kicked and flipped and turned his perfect little head towards his mother and simply stared as if to say, “Please, give me a chance.”
Her eyes never left the screen, she never blinked, she never spoke. Mesmerized by the life that moved within her and the heart that beat on and on and on…
She is worn down, she is suffering and she is afraid. A tiny innocent life hangs in the balance. I am convinced that her counselor did everything possible, spoke with every ounce of conviction, love and truth in her body, shared with her every possible avenue of assistance and encouragement. I am convinced that the nurse performed the ultrasound with excellence and skill and tender loving care.
And I am convinced that unless we unite in prayer and sacrifice and storm Heaven for assistance– this baby will be taken to his appointment tomorrow morning and aborted.
Please, join us in prayer and beg for God’s mighty hand to intervene and spare this child – not just for a week – but for a lifetime.
The
February 2, 2008
She walked in with hesitation, signed in, and sat down. Her hands were unsteady as she filled out her intake form, her eyes were swollen from crying. He came in behind her, sat down in the chair next to her and watched as she wrote. Not a word was exchanged between them, not a gesture nor a glance. They sat as strangers.
It wasn't long before her counselor appeared and guided her down the hall and into a counseling room. The young man sat alone for a few minutes, and then greeted his mother when she came in. They sat in silence.
Several
minutes into the counseling session, this young girl realized she was in the
wrong place. She had arrived at the "wrong" corner of 12th and
Out in the waiting room, the young man had figured it out. He began to pace the floor. He asked the receptionist for a phone book, and then he grumbled to his mother, "We're in the WRONG place!"
Back in the counseling room, the young girl and her counselor were watching a video presentation of an abortion - nothing held back, no room for guessing, a graphic and detailed presentation of abortion. It's not for everyone, but it is reality. It is the gruesome, tragic reality of abortion and for this young girl, it was the reality that her boyfriend and his mother had CHOSEN for her.
At the end of the video, she looked up. "Get him in here, I want him to see this."
He
came down the hall, headed for the counseling room and shouted, "Yo! We're in the
He couldn't. He flew into a rage - the neat little package of "choice" had been ripped wide open and the ugly face of abortion had been revealed. What seemed like a simple solution to an unwanted pregnancy was now a "conscious and informed decision" to murder his own flesh and blood.
We remain in prayer for this young couple - her decision is to choose life for her child but she must be strong enough to withstand the pressure of her boyfriend and his mother. She must be strong enough - day in, day out, to protect and nurture that unborn child that grows within her. Please join us in praying - day in and day out for her and never ceasing until we know for certain that the battle that began in the "wrong place" is over, and that her child is delivered into the right place - his mother's arms.
God Will Help Me
February 9, 2008
She came in behind him, with her head hanging down. He checked in with the receptionist as she took a seat. He filled out the intake form with an occasional word from her. I waited, not knowing what would lie ahead in the counseling room.
For the first ten minutes, she said nothing as he filled me in on their life situation. No jobs, pressure from their parents, difficult upbringings and most of all - a fear of raising a child who would have "nothing." I asked for her input but she acted as though she did not hear me and barely looked up from the floor.
I explained the options, from beginning to end including the abortion procedure, its risks and complications. I spoke about adoption and its benefits and the rights they would have as birth parents. I spoke about parenting through financial difficulties and about the help that is available, not only at the PCC but in the community as well. Silence.
Then suddenly, "You don't know! You don't know! My father left me when I was 2! I had NOTHING. I walked with one shoe! I do not want this for my child. She agrees with me, we know it is a sin to kill but we will do it anyway - it is the only way!" But still silence from her.
I continued, asking them to reflect on the future - waking day after day, with the knowledge that they had chosen to end the life of a child - their child. I shared stories of those who had triumphed over financial difficulties, those who had chosen adoption. Still nothing.
I
turned to her, and for the first time she looked up at me. "I cannot kill my
baby. I cannot. I cannot, no matter if I have nothing, no matter if
I am without a home, without friends, without family. Let them hate me,
let them hit me. Let them kill me. I will NOT kill my baby!"
At this, he sunk into his chair and covered his face. It was awfully quiet in the room, and I wondered how long this would go on. So much was hanging in the balance - a life!
"You did this to her! She agreed with me! We talked on the way here and she said I was right, she never disagreed with me! You did this!!! It is all your fault!"
I wasn't sure I had exactly done anything, but I do think she found an ally in me. An ally in the PCC. Somehow, she had found her strength and there was no turning back.
She looked at him. "I love you! I love you TOO MUCH! But I will not kill this child. No matter what you say, no matter what you do. You won't help me? You won't support me? You will leave me alone in this, to face my parents? You don't care? Ok. I accept that. Because you know what? GOD WILL HELP ME!
Her words hung in the air...God will help me. She sat up, her face lost its worry and its sadness and settled into simple peace. She was done. Mind made up. No turning back.
She looked at me, "And you, thank you. Because all along I knew what I wanted, I just never had the chance to say it. So thank you."
What an honor it is to witness the transforming power of God - how He strengthens and empowers the weak and the vulnerable!
Just Five Days
February 16, 2008
I walked into the waiting room this past Tuesday and stopped dead in my tracks. Standing at the reception area ready to sign in was the young couple I wrote about last week! She smiled weakly at me, he met my glance with a smile. She held her head high and I sensed her strength. But still I wondered...what brought them back so soon? Doubts? Questions? More uncertainty about keeping the baby?
No. It was worry. She was not feeling well and they were worried that something was wrong with her and the baby. They needed to talk to someone and to find a trusted doctor who would see them right away.
Worried about her...worried about the baby.
But just five days ago they were in a state of crisis and arguing about whether or not this baby would live! Just five days ago he was adamant that they would not sacrifice, they would not suffer, they would not bring this child into the world because it was not the right time!
Yet
here they were, just five days later, returning to the
What happened in those five days?
Your prayers! It was your prayers that helped God transform this young couple and unite them in love and concern for their unborn child. It was your prayers that helped this young man see the truth of his responsibility to protect the tiny life he helped create. It was your prayers that helped to strengthen this couple and your prayers that will continue to guide them as they look carefully at their relationship and make things right before God. And it will be your prayers that will comfort them through the next few months as they mourn the loss of the tiny life that grew for 7 weeks and no more.
The ultrasound revealed a problem, we advised them to go to the ER where the miscarriage was confirmed. But God used the short life of this child of His to strengthen a mother, to transform a father and to call them into a life of grace lived in a state of marriage.
All, in just 5 days.
Thank you for your continued prayerful support of the
God Bless You
February 29, 2008
She stared straight ahead with a blank look on her face as I greeted her. I always hope for at least a small smile. Nothing at all. She sat down, crossed her arms, and in broken English, she said, “You take out baby. No baby. You do abortion.”
It was late Wednesday afternoon, a busy day so far, a day that had brought me an unhappy and frightened pregnant 16 year old, a recovering drug addict who had already lost three children to DCF, a young pregnant woman whose boyfriend was in jail, and now this. I looked at this young 30 something woman and saw the exhaustion, the anger and the eyes of suffering. Her life was not her own.
We did not get very far between her Creole and my English, so we called in her
husband to help. He explained to me very calmly, that their circumstances
did not permit them to have another child – they had four already and
were also supporting their families in
I tried to follow our standard counseling techniques – ha! This was one of those, “throw the textbook out the window” cases. We have no Creole speaking counselors, or immediate access to translators. And it was Wednesday, a killing day at the abortion clinic just across the street. Knowing this just sort of adds to the pressure of the moment.
As I spoke to them, I realized that only about 50% of what I was saying was actually making sense to them. I needed that other 50% to come from someone – or something else. So I asked them if they wanted to see what an abortion actually looks like – on video. They agreed immediately, and for the next few minutes the three of us sat in silence and watched “Choice Blues”. No speaking, no words, it is the one and only video that removes all of the language barriers in the world and establishes without doubt or question - the reality of abortion. It ended and the woman looked to her husband and began speaking very passionately. She pointed towards me. He spoke. “Ok, no taking out the baby. No abortion. She stays with the baby. She keeps the baby.”
We spoke some more, and she showed me her Medicaid card. She knew what to do, she even remembered her previous doctor’s name and thought she would return to him for care for this pregnancy. She picked up a fetal model from the table and stroked him. She looked up at me and her eyes filled with tears. Before I knew it, she reached out, grabbed me and pulled me close to her in a hug. “God bless you” she whispered in my ear.
We spent some more time together, and they were very grateful to receive a box full of starter items for this tiny new life. They promised to come back and visit. We got to the door, she hesitated and turned around. “Thank you ma’am,” she said, and grabbed me for another tear-filled hug.
What I could not communicate with words was done with the images of abortion depicted in this very powerful video. It is graphic, yes, but it is the reality. It is the truth. And for the young baby spared his life this past Wednesday, it was the most important video ever made.
I know you will pray for this couple, the road ahead will be one of struggles but it will be one paved with the sacrifices of parents for their children – and God will certainly reward that.
(NOTE: To view one of the public versions of Choice Blues, visit www.abortionno.org)
Location
March 7, 2008
She peeked her head in the door and looked at me. “You speak Spanish?” she asked. “Si!” I responded, and asked her to come inside. Hesitantly, she approached and began her story.
“I am here to terminate my pregnancy. I have no money, my husband does not have much work, and I just had a baby four months ago. I have to terminate this pregnancy today.”
She consented to stay for a pregnancy test, counseling and ultrasound with the understanding that we don’t perform abortions. She completed her paperwork, even noting on the form that “there are too many things we lack, we cannot have another baby.”
She handed the paperwork in to me, and then excused herself to run out to her car. I watched as she unloaded a baby carrier, and the friend who had brought her to us drove off. She came back inside carrying her adorable 4 month old baby girl and we headed into the counseling room. She shared her concerns about finances, her worries about doctor bills and the difficulty her husband had in finding any work.
She was persistent about the abortion, and stated repeatedly that there was no other way for her, that she must do this. I asked her, simply, what “this” was – “What is abortion?” I asked her. She had listened to the risks, the consequences, she heard me explain the procedures but I felt certain she did not truly understand the reality of abortion. I mentioned to her that we had a video (Choice Blues) that showed the reality of abortion – up close and graphic - yet the truth. She consented to watch it. She placed her baby in her carrier on the floor, facing me. I reached down and held the hand of this tiny baby as I watched the tv right behind her revealing the possible future of her sibling. I silently prayed, and reflected on the tragedy of this situation unfolding in front of me. Unknowing and innocent, this baby girl was accompanying her sibling in what could be the last days of its life inside the womb. It was the only time during the near two hours that she spent with us that she cried. Without an eye on the video, this baby cried and cried and cried. Until the video ended.
I saw no visible reaction from Mom so I asked her what she thought about the video. She said nothing at first, then I noticed her eyes as they filled with tears. I handed her a tissue, and without warning, she yelled out, “My God! My God! How could I? How could I have thought to do this? NO! NO! Why did I ever think I would do such a thing?” She began to weep uncontrollably. I knelt on the floor and offered to hold her hand. She collapsed on my shoulder and cried. “I love you. I love you so much! Thank you, you showed me just in time, before I did it. I ALMOST killed my baby. How could I do that? How could anyone do that?”
The rest of the story came out then, she shared that during her despair of the
last few days, she had asked someone she knew about finding an abortion
clinic. “Go to the corner of 12th and
We cleared the emotional hurdles and prepared for her ultrasound. She was a new person walking into that ultrasound room – a mother, restored. I held the baby as we prepared to meet the tiny pre-born for the first time. If it sounds dramatic, that’s only because it is! The lights are down low, it is quiet, everyone in the room is focused on that screen. It is life, new life – a precious, tiny human being about to be revealed for the first time. It just doesn’t get better than this!
We finally met this tiny 7 week old human being and I watched with joy as his mother began to cry all over again, this time with wonder, with joy and with gratitude. I watched as the 4 month old made eye contact with the screen and cooed. I watched as the nurse’s hands gently and expertly guided the probe over the uterus. I watched as this tiny human being moved about innocently in his mother’s womb, without any knowledge that he had been spared a gruesome death. I watched, and I thanked God for the opportunity to be there as a witness to His power of transforming hearts and minds through the honest portrayal of the truth.
Please pray for this young family, and please continue your support of the
Again, if you have not yet seen Choice Blues, please go to www.abortionno.org and watch this powerful video, it will remind you of the long road we have before us in the battle between life and death.
WALK FOR LIFE: A reminder that the Pregnancy Care Center Annual Walk for Life will be held on Saturday, May 17th! Visit our website at www.ourpcc.com and click on the Walk for Life link for more information, to download a pledge form, or make an online donation to the Walk for Life. As part of this event, the PCC is also sponsoring a Prolife Essay and Prolife Art Contest for youth - get your kids involved today! Thank you!